Is your mind your worst enemy? How we choose to view the world is how we are seen by people around us. It’s also a reflection of how you see yourself. It’s when you take control of your mind and thoughts that you can vastly improve your outcomes in your job, career and life.
This realisation has helped me engage stakeholders seemingly resistant to change. Sometimes people outwardly resist change but internally they feel disempowered, which manifests itself in negative ways.
You Have More Control Than You Think, Don’t Give It Away Cheaply
The Fickle Mirror
We all like to think that we are smart, at least smarter than the other guy. And whilst we may not always ‘see’ our own faults, we have finely honed skills that immediately spot when someone else makes a mistake. Don’t be fooled.
The mirror that we put up to ourselves has spent a lifetime being carefully polished to show us what we want to see rather than as we actually are. That’s the thing with the ego, it’s conveniently fickle.
If you want to change anything in life it must start with you first. It’s an unfortunate truth but a truth nonetheless. I once had a manager who seemed to be able to read my mind. He had the ability to ‘see’ what my motivations were for doing or not doing something. When I finally asked him what his secret was he told me that my non-verbals were revealing my authentic self.
Is your mind your worst enemy?
How often do you hear ‘my manager is holding me back for promotion’. Maybe this is the case, maybe it isn’t. The real question is what are you going to do about it?
If you’re convinced that you’ll never get that promotion, you’ll never get it. This is the impact of relinquishing your power. Our reality frames our minds. If you firmly believe that you are in control of your own destiny, you’ll begin to affect that destiny.
You have more control than you think, don’t give it away cheaply. It’s yours, nurture it and make it work for you. Once I realised this I made significant changes to my career, I got my Master’s degree and successfully moved sectors from manufacturing to healthcare.
If you don’t respect yourself why should others?
Taking control is not as difficult as it sounds, though at first, it can be daunting. You start with giving yourself permission to be more confident, that you are worthy of being and seeing to be more confident. Don’t worry what other people may be thinking.
The most difficult part is breaking old habits that led you to feeling out of control in the first place. ‘Don’t put yourself in a box’ is something that someone once said to me. They referring to my then self-belief of ‘I can’t do this because I don’t have a senior role’.
Your peers will start to act and behave differently towards you when they see that you are acting and behaving differently. If you don’t respect yourself why should others?
Start With How You See Things
When things don’t go our way we’re quick to look for someone to blame. All too often we find someone, or something, to blame for an outcome that didn’t go our way. Perhaps what you thought was a criticism was feedback that you could benefit from?
I firmly believe that most of us have the intention of doing a good job and to get on with our colleagues. We’re all humans and as humans we’re ‘different’. People process information, thoughts, ideas and emotions differently to us. They also express thoughts, views and opinions differently. Just because they’re different it doesn’t mean to say that they are wrong.
When you start to view the world with a positive lens, the world with look upon you with a positively too.
I believe it’s because we don’t slow down often enough to think about who we are and our place in life. Too many of us live an incidental life i.e. happy to live turning ‘left’ and ‘right’ as circumstance dictates. This is not a recipe to live a life to the best that we can possibly be.
What you say, and don’t say, actually ‘says’ a lot about you. And ‘how’ what you say impacts the perception others have of you.
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About the author
Abdul Ghani is founder and director at Exceed Excellence. Abdul has twenty year’s experience of hands on Lean implementation, project and change management. He is an improvement coach and an inspirational leader with multi-sector continuous/quality improvement expertise.
Abdul’s key strengths are seeing through complexity, identifying and delivering improvement actions and to quickly establish rapport and trust with stakeholders. Abdul has project managed and delivered improvement programmes and mentored / coached staff, at all levels, through major transformation programmes. Click here to get in touch.
About Exceed Excellence
Exceed Excellence works with organisations to improve operational excellence capability to deliver high quality, right cost and right time services / products for their customers. We achieve this by working with you to improve the skills, productivity and capability of your most valuable resource – your people!
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